I liked the Star Wars movies as a kid, although to be truthful, I was more of a Star Trek guy. (You know, because the chicks loved Trekkies.)

Now, after two crap-tacular prequels, George Lucas is launching Episode III – Revenge of the Sith, to generally better reviews.

Great news for geeks, right? What’s better for your inner nerd than a well-written, well-acted, well-directed space opera? It’s the perfect way to take your mind off the all the annoyances and banalities of real life, circa 2005.

I may be a political junkie, but after last year’s U.S. election and the imminent start of a Canadian one, two hours free of the current sniping and eye-rolling would be refreshing.

Well, sucks to be me. (Mild spoilage ahead.) Check out this dialogue from a duel scene between Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi:

Anakin: “If you’re not with me, you’re my enemy.”
Obi-Wan: “Only a Sith Lord deals in absolutes.”

Subtle. If that isn’t a direct reference to this quote from President Bush’s speech, nine days after September 11, well then I’m a Klingon.

Every nation and every region now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists.

And see if your Jar-Jar Binks decoder ring can decipher what this line could be referring to:

Padmé Amidala: “This war happened because of a failure to listen.”

Sorry, Princess, the John Kerry sticker on your space-Volvo won’t do him any good now.

I am not a fan of moral relativism — I think it is an intellectual trap that leads to bad decisions, by both individuals and nations. George Lucas may not agree, but maybe after producing a six-movie series about the battle between good and evil, he should realize he’s not the best person to be lecturing children about President Bush’s lack of “nuance” in the war on terror.

Or will this lead to yet another new edition of the original Star Wars, with an alien version of Kofi Annan digitally added, to convince the Rebel fighters not to attack the Death Star, because they don’t have Security Council authorization?

Rebel Leader: “But they just destoyed Alderaan!”
Space Kofi: “For the sake of peace, we must give inspections and sanctions another chance. Of course, we cannot inspect the Death Star, because the Dark Lord has declared it to be one of his Presidential Palaces.”
Rebel Leader: “Well… FRAK.”