[Scene: Parliamentary Press Gallery. Paul Martin, and a slightly scruffy-looking mustachioed man enter, and sit down.]

Paul Martin: Ahem. Thank you. As you know, last year I was very, very excited to appoint Scott Brison to be Minister of Public Works and Government Services, and to thusly make him responsible for reforming the process of awarding government contracts.

Yesterday, I was very, very, proud to welcome Belinda Stronach to our caucus and to Cabinet, as Minister of Human Resources and Skills Development, and Minister responsible for Democratic Renewal. In addition, Ms. Stronach will be responsible for implementing the recommendations of the Gomery commission.

It has probably occurred to you, that I believe that if you want someone to clean up federal government, you need a Conservative, preferably a former leadership candidate.

So it gives me great, great pleasure to announce today that David Orchard has accepted my offer to become our new Minister of Finance.

The cynical among you may think that there was some sort of shady quid-pro-quo involved in this decision. Let me assure Canadians that my decision today to abrogate NAFTA was a wholly unrelated matter, and had been carefully studied for some time.

In conclusion, let me just say: Sinclair Stevens, please call me.

Thank you.